Got a cupcake problem

Don't write to Mrs Mills of the Sunday Times expecting sympathy in her Mrs Mills Solves your Problems column! I read this in Sunday's paper while catching up on all the news at the superb Coffee@Whitecross - my favourite non-cupcake hangout in London and it made me laugh out loud! Enjoy :)

Miss Conceited
I went to the last of a long run of weddings at the weekend (14 in two years). On Sunday morning, I had a piece of chocolate wedding cake for breakfast, then a slice of the fruit cake layer for elevenses. For afternoon tea, I ate the most enormous cupcake, left over from the evening reception. Today I’ve eaten a piece of carrot cake and a mini lemon cake. I’m a size 10 and in my early thirties. Do I have a problem?
ZC, by e-mail

Yes. Watch out for a slap in the face. Nobody likes a show-off.